KD 4 MVP/Goodbye Mark Jackson

Yesterday a big day in the NBA so let's just get to the nitty-gritty.  After years of playing second fiddle to LeBron James for the coveted MVP trophy, Kevin Durant finally got his and gave an emotional speech where he thanked his momma and his teammates.  I'm a fan of Kevin Durant.  I like his gameplay and the fact that he hates all the nicknames the public want to give him.  (He's more of an initials type of guy.)  But it took him a negative nickname from a newspaper in Oklahoma (didn't know they were literate there) to give him the spark he needed to take down the Memphis Grizzlies AKA the slowest team in the NBA since the 2013 Memphis Grizzlies.  Shit, that would motivate me too.  If someone wrote in the comments section in my blog and called me "Mr. Unreliable" I'd go on a string of masterfully written pieces so good they would have to fit it in the American Constitution.  But no one has ever written that about me and no one ever will.  Why?  Because I'm so damn reliable with this blog shit.

This MVP was well-deserved for Kevin Durant and even though LeBron put up another good season, Kevin Durant was un-fuck-wit-able.  And KD didn't win MVP because people were tired of LeBron James winning.  (Though that does help.)  KD has long been trying to get his star up there in the upper echelon of NBA greats for sometime now.  Two Years ago KD and King James were in one of the tightest MVP races I could remember.  At the time I was still upset over the Decision and was going for Durant.  James won but I couldn't be upset because it wasn't like he didn't deserve it.  I just thought Durant deserved it more.  The following year was a no-brainer.  LeBron had this streak of six 30+ plus games shooting 60% or more from the field and led the Heat to a 28 game win streak.  KD joining the 50-40-90 club couldn't push him over the hump.  But now here we are.  In a season where Durant averaged 32 ppg shooting over 50% from the field, a season in which he scored 25+ in 41 straight games passing MJ's streak of 40, Kevin Durant is finally MVP.  LeBron tried to make it competitive when he went for 61 (which doesn't top Melo's 62) but Durant ended that discussion fairly quickly and he did it in the absence of Russell Westbrook.  (Some would argue that helped.)  KD was undeniably this year's Most Valuable Player but I remember as the season went along and I knew that he was most deserving of the prestigious award a startling thought came to my mind.  What if the voters somehow fuck up on the vote?  It's happened before.  So here I present 5 questionable MVP decisions.

(1961-1962) Bill Russell over Wilt Chamberlain

Now I'm not saying Bill Russell isn't that dude.  He deserves all the MVPs he's won (which is a lot).  He had an MVP worthy season that year.  But Wilt AVERAGED 50 ppg.  50!  No one had ever done that and no has since.

(1978-1979) Bill Walton over George Gervin

I don't know if I picked this one because I don't like Bill Walton or because I genuinely believe the Iceman had a better season.  (It's mostly because I hate Walton.)  Why do I not like Bill?  Is it his voice?  Is it everything he's ever said while commentating a game?  Is it because Luke is his seed?  Either way he put up an 18 and 12 season which is cool I guess.  Not mind-blowing.

(1989-1990) Magic Johnson over Charles Barkley

If anything I just find it curious that Chuck got more first place votes but Magic came up with the MVP.  (It's those second place votes.)  Michael was also in the running but Chuck had some pretty impressive numbers that year.

(2004-2005) Steve Nash over Shaquille O' Neal

Nash is probably one of the best point guards in NBA history and he did lead the Phoenix Suns to success in the regular season/failure in the playoffs.  (Just like Chris Paul.)  But O' Canada himself didn't deserve MVP over Shaq especially when Nash posted numbers like 15 and 11 and when Shaq turned the Miami Heat into instant contenders.  Dirk would have also been a good choice.

(2005-2006) Steve Nash over LeBron James

I'll go ahead and say that if Steve Nash deserved to win the MVP only one time it would be this year.  He did join the 50-40-90 club.  (Remind you of someone?)  But I still find it ridiculous that he's a back to back MVP winner.  You know who doesn't have 2 MVPs?  Shaq.  Kobe. (And I HATE Kobe.)  Dr. J.

Kevin Durant almost because part of an infamous club of MVPs who lost in the first round of the playoffs.  Do you know who is also part of that club?  Our good friend Dirk Nowitzki who along with his #1 seeded Mavs lost to the heroes of the We Believe Warriors squad.  It's not a fun club to be a part of but with this trophy on his mantel above the fireplace KD can focus up on avenging our loss to the Clippers.  Maybe, just maybe, he might fuck around and end the Lil B curse by winning a ring.

Here's the other big news of May 6, 2014.  Mark Jackson, coach of the Golden State Warriors, got fired.  Coaches get fired all the time.  Sometimes it makes sense, like when a coach fails to get his team to the playoffs.  When coaches get fired after a winning season it gets confusing.  George Karl got fired after winning Coach of the Year last year.  As asinine as it sounds the decision can be justified.  (Sorta.)  George Karl took a pack of players who would come off the bench on most elite teams and turned them into a top tier unit.  Unfortunately for them they lost in the first round in the playoffs (to the Warriors), which had been a tradition of George Karl.  Under Mark Jackson the Warriors improved their record every year and made the playoffs in back to back seasons for the first time since the early 90s.  On one hand he has had some trouble with the higher ups and had some issues with his coaching staff.  The higher ups believe that with the roster we have now the Warriors underachieved.  Maybe, maybe not.  Did the Warriors blow some games at home to teams we should not be losing to?  Yeah, of course.  But I will say this: the players loved Mark Jackson.  They believed in him and cherished him and for that reason I would argue it wasn't the best decision.  Also when you fire a preacher I'm not too sure it sits well with the man upstairs.  But whether or not this was a mistake depends almost entirely on who supersedes him.  I just want to say thank you Mark Jackson.  I didn't believe in you when you first came but you took this team to place it hasn't been in a while.  I wish him well in his future endeavors and look forward to the future.

In case you read this and were wondering the whole time, "who is this genius?", I am El Guapo and thank you for taking precious time out of your day to read this blog.  If you have any comments, questions or suggestions leave them in the comment section below.  Follow me on Twitter @ELGUAPO3 or Instagram @CAPTAINCRUNCHTIME.  Have a great day and stay Guapo out there!

A Warriors Fan In Los Angeles

I've been in Los Angeles for about 3 years now and like most people I know who moved here from out of town, I have a love/hate relationship with this place.  (When I say Los Angeles, I'm referring to the whole LA County area as most people do.)  Here is what I like: the weather, the beaches (which I almost never visit), Hollywood, Fat Burger, Long Beach (still in LA County), G-Funk, beach cruisers, getting to wear flip flops everyday, Venice, fish tacos, Downtown LA (parts of it), I met my girlfriend here and King Taco.  It's a nice long list, and truthfully, although there's no place like home, LA has really grown on me.  But then there's the list of shit I HATE about Los Angeles.  (Oh boy.)  Here we go: terrible traffic, smog, weather (sometimes I miss the morning fog of the Bay Area), the people here are stuck up and full of themselves, everything is so far away, there is no reliable public transportation in case, I don't know, some asshole hits your car and you have to take it in to the shop for a couple of days, the water tastes awful, there's almost no good pizza joints, Time Warner Cable (good riddance if the Comcast merger ends up approved), Mid-Wilshire, Carson, Tyga, skyline could be better, LA River is basically a sewer, they pronounce Palos Verdes as Pah-loz Vur-deez, housing is more expensive, my girlfriend is not from here and Laker fans.

Whenever you move from one big city to another you are entering a space where you are surrounded by fans of that city's team.  That's just unavoidable.  If I moved to Tampa Bay (which is highly unlikely) I would most likely run into Buccaneer and Ray fans.  If the teams of the city you are now adopting are your rivals then this might be a problem.  For me, baseball isn't really a problem.  The Dodgers are the Giants' rivals and I don't like the Giants.  The Angels are in our division but they're in Anaheim, which is in Orange County.  I never want to be in Orange County, unless of course if I want to go to Disneyland or Knott's Berry Farm.  Plus, the people in Orange County are somehow worse than the people in LA.  Football fans here don't bother me.  The Raiders used to play in LA and so there are a good number of fans still here.  Charger fans are a little rare.  There's a few St. Louis Rams fans here and there.  I might run into some 49er band wagoners too.  But for the most part I can wear silver and black in peace.  I don't really give a shit a about hockey.  Major League Soccer is like the D League of soccer leagues so I don't have an issue with the LA Galaxy who play by my school at the Stub Hub Center (formerly the Home Depot Center.)  The real issue is the basketball fans.

When I started following basketball back in the early 2000's Jason Richardson was our guy, the Sacramento Kings actually weren't trash, Vince Carter was still playing for the Toronto Raptors, the Indiana Pacers had Jermaine O' Neal and old Reggie Miller, Allen Iverson and Tracey McGrady were two of the best scorers in the league, Kevin Garnett was still with the Wolves, Ray Allen was with the Bucks, Paul Pierce was with the Celtics, nobody knew who LeBron was and the Lakers were dominating the league with Mr. Shaqtin' a Fool himself and "No-Pass McGee" Kobe Bryant.  The first finals I ever watched in its entirety was the 2004 NBA Finals which featured the Chauncey Billups led Detroit Pistons and Shaq's last season with the Lakers.  (Those Lakers are one of the teams mentioned on my list ranking the last decade or so of NBA Finals losers.)  At the time I didn't know a whole lot about the league but I knew one thing: I hated the Lakers.  I hated them because my dad hated them and all the Warriors fans in my life hated them too.  In fact a lot of the world hated them.  And most of all I hated Kobe.  Kobe with his smug face and rape accusation.  So naturally I wanted the Pistons to win.  (And they did.)  Shaq, who had been beefing with Kobe, left the following year and I was allowed to like him again while a bitter, selfish Kobe took over a Lakers squad that in the next few years would have starters with the likes of Luke Walton, Smush Parker and Kwame Brown.

These years, from 2004 to 2007, were what I thought were the dark years for the Lakers and I relished them.  In 2005 the Lakers missed the playoffs, lost in the first round in 2006 by almost upsetting the Steve Nash led Phoenix Suns and again in 2007.  Despite this Kobe was averaging some of the best scoring numbers of his career, which in turn confirmed the accusation by many that he was a selfish player who couldn't win without Shaq.  Around this time the other team that shared the Staples Center, the Clippers made their only playoff appearance of the decade and Billy Crystal was sitting front row rooting for Elton Brand, Sam Cassell and Corey Maggette, along with other people in the stands who thought they were going to a discounted Laker playoff game.  They lost in the second round to the Phoenix Suns who had just taken care of the Lakers.  After that: nothing.  Back to the Lakers.

2008 was a different year for Kobe Bryant and the Lakers.  They traded for Pau Gasol, who at the time was the better of the Gasol brothers, and became championship contenders.  Kobe Bryant earned his first and only MVP that year and the Lakers made it to the NBA Finals where they lost to the Big 3 of the Boston Celtics.  The following year they made it to the Finals again and this time they won, giving Kobe his first ring without Shaq and the year after that they repeated, avenging their loss to the Celtics two years prior.  One of these years featured a spotlight in which Bill Walton interviews his son Luke Walton of the Lakers which is in the top 3 weirdest spotlights they have shown in the finals.  (The other two are the one where Tyson Chandler talks about learning to play basketball on the farm and the one where Shaq claims his beef with Kobe was a publicity stunt.)  But here I had a problem.  The Lakers were on top, the Warriors were struggling and you couldn't go around saying Kobe can't win without Shaq because he just did.  To make things worse Baron Davis had left the Warriors after a 48 win season that didn't receive a playoff spot.  To make things even worse he headed to the Clippers.  All we got was Corey Maggette signing with us.  But it didn't really matter because the Clips were still irrelevant.

This is where things start to turn around in the league.  LeBron, who couldn't win a title with the Cavs, left and joined the Miami Heat with Dwayne Wade and Toronto's mascot/star (?) player/most suspect athlete on earth.  The Clippers decided to draft some guy who didn't really know how to play basketball but can jump really high for a white (?) guy and is surprisingly funny in those KIA commercials that feature cars he can jump over the hood of.  Phil Jackson retired.  Kevin Durant was rising up with the Thunder as the big NBA rivalry shifted from Kobe vs LeBron to Durant vs LeBron.  The Warriors decided to give up on Monta Ellis being their star player to Stephen Curry taking that spot.  The Lakers were falling in slow motion and thought the only way to win another title was to take out their wallets and build a super team bigger than Miami's.  They tried trading for Chris Paul but the league nipped that in the bud and Chris Paul ended up going to the Clippers to teach Blake Griffin how to play/still not have any success in the playoffs.  Meanwhile the Lakers thought they had it figured out with getting the most indecisive player ever in Dwight Howard and two time (questionably deserved) MVP in Steve Nash.  For the Lakers this would result in a mediocre season followed by an awful season in which the Lakers are no longer relevant although they would still like to be.  For the Warriors and Clippers it has been the start of an instate rivalry featuring two teams who had for previous years little to do with the shape of the NBA.  A rivalry that is notable by the shit these two teams talk about each other and the little altercation that happened at the end of the Christmas game.  And so here we are.  The first round of the 2014 NBA playoffs and these two teams are fighting for keeps.  They are fighting for reign for the Pacific Division.  The Clips may have won the division but it's what happens in the playoffs that matters.  And I think it's a safe bet that this won't be the last time these two teams meet.  So as of now the series is tied at 2-2 and shifts from the ROARacle Arena in Oakland to the Staples Center in Los Angeles.

On one hand we have the heroic Warriors who after losing in the second round in last year's playoffs to the San Antonio Spurs have come back to build on their previous success.  With Steph Curry, a first time starter in this season's All-Star Game, leading the charge, Klay Thompson as the other half of what we refer to as the Splash Brothers, Iggy who is one of the better defensive player in the league, David Lee who is one of the most consistent power forwards in the league, and a handful of solid bench players who can really make an impact on this series.  Unfortunately our bruiser, Andrew Bogut, is on the bench nursing a rib injury but if he were to come back it would really give the Warriors a much needed boost, especially on the defensive end.  In the other corner we have the Clippers.  Chris Paul runs their offense (as well as DeAndre Jordan's) and is one of the best players in the league to continually find little success in the playoffs.  JJ Reddick plays perfect, fundamentally sound Duke basketball just like Coach K taught him.  Matt Barnes... I guess he's still in the league.  And Blake Griffin, who is an extraordinary dunker but is mostly a punk, might be just my least favorite of them all.  I'll admit this has been an amazing season for him thus far, and I mildly respect him as a player.  But like with Chris Paul, I'm not sold on him til he makes a real splash in the playoffs.

So what does this all mean for a Warriors fan living in LA?  When I first moved here about three years ago Mike Brown just took over the Lakers.  I remember I was telling a bunch of people that Mike Brown could not lead them to a championship.  "Nah," they told me.  "You don't know what you're talking about!  Kobe's about to get his 6th ring.  He's about to tie MJ.  I love the Princeton offense.  Pau Gasol is better than Marc."  Stupid shit like that.  The other 80% of Laker fans still thought Phil Jackson was still coaching.  In fact I wouldn't be surprised if I asked a Laker fan how Shaq did the other night and I get this response.  "Shaq was a beast!  Him and Kobe be ballin' like always.  Kobe is the GOAT!  Shaq is the best big man in the league.  Nothing will ever tear these two apart.  Do we have more championships than the Celtics yet?"  Short answer: no.  Like I predicted the Lakers made the playoffs but didn't make a legitimate run for the title.  The following off season they acquired Dwight and Steve Nash and all of LA who kinda sorta watched basketball went almost as nuts as the people who still think it's 2002.  Everyone was gushing at how they're starting lineup of Steve Nash, Kobe, Metta World Artest, Pau Gasol and D12 was about to win a title against LeBron.  We all know how that went.  Undeserving former Coach of the Year Mike Brown was replaced by even more undeserving Coach of the Year Mike D'Antoni who wasn't able to set up any system in LA.  Kobe was frustrated with Dwight's soft persona on the court.  Pau was irrelevant as was Ron Peace.  Steve Nash was demoted from star point guard to spot up shooter.  And to cap the season Kobe injured his Achilles during a game against the Warriors.  And despite all this Laker fans were still balls deep in this fantasy that the Lakers could compete for the title.  Meanwhile I was sitting on the sofa laughing at the delusions of grandeur these fans had taken on thinking they could championships every year.  Meanwhile the Dubs advanced to the Conference Semi Finals and took the Spurs to 6 games.

This year, with the injury to Kobe and the trash team coached by Mike D'Antoni, the Laker fans I talk to, though rare nowadays, talk about two things: the past and the future.  Kudos to them for having a positive attitude while watching their team struggle mightily and still rock their Laker jerseys.  But that's hard to find nowadays with more Griffin and Paul jerseys popping up than Bryant jerseys in LA.  A few years ago nobody was rocking blue and red with the exception of Billy Crystal and those guys who attended the Clippers' playoff game in the mid 2000s and figured they might as well get a souvenir out of it.  But now it seems like everyone and their momma has their Laker jerseys locked in the closets and pulled out their Lob City gear that they claim to always have had.  If there is one thing I hold dear in the world of sports it's sticking true and loyal to your team so you can imagine why this bothers me.  You can't just jump from one team to another because your team isn't doing so hot, especially if that team is in your division.  It's disgraceful, really.  I'm not cool with hearing, "Yeah, the Lakers suck dick this year so I'm just gonna root for the Clippers.  Blake Griffin and Chris Paul are a great combo.  Lakers should've gotten Paul anyway."  No!  No!  Bad!  Have you no shame!?!  And I'm not buying it if you tell me you've been a Clipper fan all your life.  They only way I'd buy that is if you lent your voice to a Pixar animated film named Monsters Inc. or you're a 12 year old kid who is just barely choosing the team he's going to stay loyal to the rest of his life.

I've always said a adult Clipper fan is just a bitter Laker fan who doesn't know the meaning of loyalty.  The kind of people that switch up teams just like that is the type of people who switch up on just because it's convenient.  They're the type of people who ask you to help them move furniture to their new house but when you need a simple ride to the airport they're nowhere to be found.  They're the type of people who feed their dogs human food when they know better.  (Monsters!)  They're the type of people who take your parking spot when you're signaling that you are about to parallel park.  They're the type of people who try to snatch your girl by throwing dirt on your name.  (Savages!)  You need to cut those people out of your life.  That's just bad energy in your aura.  I was out in Las Vegas this weekend and I discovered something worse than Laker fans turned Clipper fans: Laker fans turned Warrior fans.  I was sitting in the sports book watching the Warriors/Clippers game with my uncle when I was approached by a self-proclaimed Warrior fan that was yelling, "Dub Nation!" and I believed I ran into some fellow ally.  It was then I realized that he was a Laker fan who had now hopped on our train until the Lakers resurrect.  No! No!  Get the fuck out of here!  Don't you dare hop on our side like it's a free invitation!  You gotta earn your right to be a part of Dub Nation.  I get it.  You hate the Clippers, as you should.  It's not only natural, it's encouraged.  And I get it if you're trying to pick the lesser of two evils.  If you're hoping the Warriors win out of spite for the Clippers I'm cool with that.  Just don't say you're part of Dub Nation and vice versa.  You shouldn't be fucking with Lob City if you were at some point rocking gold and purple.  But that's just me.  Unfortunately I'm surrounded by people who just don't feel the same.  And if LA is to be my new home I guess I'll just have to deal with that.

Thank you reading my post.  I appreciate it almost as much you appreciate me writing this post.  It's NBA playoff season so we have a few NBA related posts coming up soon.  I will also be updating an old post and coming up with a brand new, non-sports related post in the next few weeks.  As usual follow me on Twitter @ELGUAPO3 and Instagram @CAPTAINCRUNCHTIME.  Bookmark this shit on your browser. Spread the word.  If you have any suggestions or comments please leave them in the comments section below.  Until next time, there's no place like home so keep that in mind and stay Guapo out there!

Captain America: The Winter Soldier Review

Boom! goes the dynamite.  Welcome back for another edition of Infinite Wisdom where I, El Guapo, share with you, the reader, some of my wisdom that so happens to be infinite.  If there is one thing I like talking about it's gentrification AKA lies the city tells us.  (Don't trust the government.)  But if I had to pick a close second it's movies.  You might have guessed it already, but I love going to the cinema.  And since my movie reviews are a (minor) hit on this blog I figured why not bring it back to review the latest effort to bring Captain America on the big screen.

Here's the dilemma with superhero movies and action movies in general: you have to grade them on a different curve than other movies.  The same goes with comedies.  When you say that a comic book movie is good you might catch yourself adding "for a comic book movie" at the end.  I love Watchmen and I though 12 Years a Slave was phenomenal but they're not in the same league.  If I go out and say 12 Years was the best movie of 2013 and quite possibly one of the best and most heartbreaking movies I've seen, (which I do) then when asked about Watchmen naturally I'll say something along the lines of, "It was an awesome movie.  The fight scenes were incredible to watch and Zach Snyder did an amazing job directing.  It was a really good movie, for what it was."

It's just what's natural for us because it's imprinted in our brains that a movie about a guy dressed in costume that fights bad guys can't be a "good movie".  That changed though in 2008 when Christopher Nolan gave us The Dark Knight.  With his vision and amazing performances by Christian Bale and the late Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight able to what most action movies could not, and that is being able to hold a candle to the so called "great movies" you hear buzz about near awards season instead of being confined to being called "popcorn flicks".  So it broke the barrier for other superhero movies to follow but unfortunately none have followed.  (You can catch my ranking of the Batman movies here!)  Mostly because superhero movies don't take themselves that seriously and that's not a bad thing.   But the question is, do I take a movie like The Winter Soldier and grade it on a curve or do I say, "The Dark Knight set the bar, let's see how this does"?

Well, right out of the gate this movie came out swinging.  Cap was not fucking around and neither was Nick Fury.  Chris Evans once again did a fine job playing the not-from-this-time-period Steve Rodgers.  He's compelling in the way where you can get behind him because you can relate to him.  He was an average schmuck (below average actually) with a great heart and some big love for his country.  ('Murica!)  His veins just so happen to be pumping serum that makes him super human.  But the characters carry the movie pretty well.  Scarlet Johansson is back playing Black Widow and on a side note her stock has gone down a bit for me.  I'll be the first to admit that I was on Scar Jo's dick for the longest time.  I was on that train all the way, my friends.  I mean it's Scar Jo!  (Oh yeah!)  But something just isn't doing it for me.  I don't know what it is but it just isn't the same.  Now Robin Scherbatsky, I mean Cobie Smulders was looking real good.  Scherbatsky has been looking pretty damn fine as of late.  But I digress.  There's a couple other old and new characters that are fun to watch.

The plot was well written.  I've seen superhero movies with some shitty plot lines.  You need to make sure the plot follows some coherent path, if you ask me.  I've seen superhero movies play it safe and present a coherent plot that makes sense, isn't corny and is interesting.  I've also seen movies that overreached and over-complicated themselves and ended up confusing everyone.  Captain America: The Winter Soldier hit the mark just right.  I'm not gonna be the asshole that reveals plot twists and revelations but I will say that the movie captured my attention and it was thrill to follow the ride through its many turns.  It was simple enough to understood by Simple Jack but with enough material to avoid being dull.  The plot also touched on some relevant subjects as well not limiting to secret societies and the big brother government theory.

Now the question everyone is asking is, "How are the action scenes?"  I mean, it is a superhero movie, I should be talking about superhero stuff.  Well, let me just say I was satisfied.  I was actually more than satisfied, I was downright pleased with what I saw.  There was no shortage of action sequences and I had my eyes glued to the screen the whole time.  The movie found the right balance between dialogue and expository scenes that drove the movie forward and action scenes that were intended to draw audiences to the theaters in the first place.  So in the grand scheme of the things I had to grade this movie on the superhero movie curve.  It didn't quite accomplish what The Dark Knight did but it was a good effort.  Compared to the other Avenger movies it might have been the best yet.  So, for a superhero movie I'd give this film a Guapisimo.  Again, for a superhero movie it does everything right and is everything it should be.  And honestly, without the curve, I think the movie was quite good.

Hope you've enjoyed this review.  Hit me up on the comments section if you have a movie you think I should review or any other suggestions you may have.  I'm on Twitter @ELGUAPO3 and Instagram @CAPTAINCRUNCHTIME.  Make sure you follow me so you don't miss one ounce of wisdom.  Keep on the lookout for new posts because you never know when I decide to drop some rare shit like Lil B.  Stay Guapo out there!

Ranking the How I Met Your Mother Seasons (Series Finale Version)

Oh hey guys!  Didn't see you there!  I've just been sitting here and reminiscing over the last 21 years.  (We get it!  You're 21!)  For the new kids in school, let me introduce myself.  My name is El Guapo and I'm the sole proprietor of this blog.  Every once in a (long) while when I'm in the mood I'll sit down in front of my laptop and write some magnificent shit for your eye holes to admire.  Speaking of reminiscing, I know I'm not the only one busting out the ice cream bucket for the finale of How I Met Your Mother.  It's been a long ride but this show has finally come to an end.  So instead of crying about it and decided to write about it to celebrate its long run on TV.  Yes, this post is just an updated version of a previous post.  (Not the first time he's done something like this.)  But I had to choose between binge watching the seasons 1 through 9 or coming up with an entirely new concept to write about this show before the finale on Monday.  One of the options required significantly less work than the other.  So let's suit up and count this mother down.

  
For those who don't know, How I Met Your Mother is basically an old Ted telling his kids the story of how he met his wife and their mother.  The show's gone on for 9 seasons now and if I had to give the show a review on the spot I'd give it a solid "Guapo".  It's a touching story of Ted Mosby's quest for true love and aren't we all looking for that special gal to call our baby mama?  My ideal girl has wide enough birthing hips to give birth to my 8 pound squid baby.  (Everyone knows Guapo babies come out the womb with tentacles.)  So let's get started with this ranking! 

9. Season 6 (Best Episode- Blitzgiving)
This season was by no means a bad one, it was just the least good out of the rest of the seasons.  Marshall's dad's death made me super sad.  Can anyone really tell me they were a fan of Zoey and keep a straight face?  (I can't.)  She was kinda hot though, and Katy Perry was too.  Plus who doesn't love the Captain.  He is the epitome of the man I want to grow to be.  The Blitz was also good for laughs.  (We all have that one friend who ends up being the Blitz.)

8. Season 7 (Best Episode- Trilogy Time)
I loved Quinn.  If Barney had been marrying Quinn instead of Robin I honestly wouldn't be that mad.  I'm just glad he didn't end up with Nora.  The season finale was great.  (Waitforit is still the coolest middle name of all time!)  I'm just hung up on the fact that Ted is still hung up on Robin.  I mean Jesus, buddy.  Her vagina broke!  She can't push a squid baby through that thing.

7. Season 8 (Best Episode- P.S. I Love You)
The return of a darker Robin Sparkles! And the Captain is back!  I could do without Victoria but at least Robin and Barney are finally together and it looks like it'll be forever!  Plus at long last we finally meet the mother.  I don't know about you guys but I was getting restless.  After years of being teased I was ready for this.  Plus that bat shit crazy girl Jeanette was good for a few laughs.  And who doesn't love Patrice?

6. Season 2 (Best Episode- Slap Bet)
So many great moments in this season.  There's the girl with the crazy eyes, we met Barney's gay, black brother and Lily and Marshall got married.  And am I the only one who fantasizes their bachelor party being like Marshall's?  (Probably.)  This is really where I think the show elevated itself into a great show.  Only reason I put this so low on the list is because I'm not a fan of that Ted/Robin combo.

5. Season 9 (Best Episode- The End of the Aisle)

This season is the most creative of the series in terms of its structure.  A whole season fit into just a matter of days.  It's no 24 Hours but hey, they did a hell of a job with it.  They gave us glimpses of the future while also tying up loose ends.  It certainly didn't lack in comedic or dramatic moments.  And I think we were all relieved when Ted finally got over Robin.  The End of the Aisle is my favorite episode for now, pending the premiere of the finale.  I'm sure people were cheering when Robin and Barney got married.  This season has some wiggle room to move up or down this list depending on how the finale goes.

 

4. Season 1 (Best Episode- The Pineapple Incident)
This is really before the show hit its comedic stride but I couldn't deny it had some great moments.  This is the season where we met poor innocent little Ted.  Marshall wasn't fat yet.  Game Night is still one of my favorite episodes and would be my favorite of this season if it weren't for the genius that is The Pineapple Incident.  And up until the season 8 finale I was pushing for the mother to be Mary the Paralegal.

3. Season 5 (Best Episode- Girls vs Suits)
This is actually the very first season I watched in full.  I saw this season and fell in love with the show and I had to go back and watch every single season.  I loved seeing Robin and Barney together, even if it was only for a few episodes.  Plus the Playbook was awesome.  I actually bought a copy of it.  Can't tell if it works or not though. (It really doesn't, but who cares.)  Slapsgiving came back and a grand musical number about suits sung by Barney?  Yes, please.  There were so many good episodes in this season like the inspirational The Perfect Week and Say Cheese.  It was really just a good all round season.

 

2. Season 3 (Best Episode- Slapsgiving)
How about instead of me listing the episodes I liked I just list the episodes I didn't like... Hold on...Couldn't find any.  This is the season when they introduced the Bro Code.  (Another book I ended up purchasing at the extinct Borders.)  Barney and Robin hooked up for the first time and Ted got a tramp stamp!  Plus who can say no to Barney's green St. Patty's Day Suit?

1. Season 4 (Best Episode- The Naked Man)
This is season when How I Met Your Mother hit its prime.  I'm not saying the show got progressively worse but it was at its best during season 4.  Barney was chasing Robin and Ted got engaged, then left at the alter.  (Sad but entertaining.)  The Naked Man is still a move I want to do one day.  ( Who wouldn't.)  And I loved Barney's video resume.  To top it all off Barney had sex with his 200th woman.  That's a lot.

Alright guys.  One last episode for the series and I'm looking forward to it.  I'm glad to see how everything is shaping together.  I want to give a thank you to the cast and creators of the show for putting this adventure together and making us fall in love with the characters.  So farewell to Ted, Barney, Marshall, Lilly and Robin.  (Don't forget Ranjit!)  As usual you can follow me on Twitter @ELGUAPO3 and Instagram @CAPTAINCRUNCHTIME.  It's been a legendary show and I hope this blog post did i justice.  Stay Guapo out there!

Living Life Through Movie Quotes (The Matrix)/Guapo turns 21

Hello once again readers.  This is El Guapo coming at you with another edition of Infinite Wisdom From El Guapo's Brain.  Do you know where I get a good chunk of my wisdom?  (The heavens?)  Nope.  Believe it or not sometimes I look to the cinema for inspiration.  Now I'm not talking about going to see a Tyler Perry movie for relationship advice or an Adam Sandler movie for family advice.  But the right movies can provide you with some gems to take home.  One movie that really inspires me is The Matrix.  The first time I saw it I was probably 6 years old and I saw it with my dad.  At 6 I really loved the action, the kung fu fighting, the gun shooting.  It was later on in my youth that I figured out what the story was and was able to appreciate it more and appreciate Trinity in black leather a lot more.  Now 21, or a grown ass man, I can dive deeper in this movie and pick out some quotes to guide me through life.  Here are some of my favorites.

"Get up, Trinity. Get up!"
This line comes from Trinity herself in the first scene in the movie.  She's running from the cops and the agents and she's jumped through a window and landed on her back with her pistols aimed at the window.  She's almost to the land line, she just needs to get up and get moving.  So she tells herself what she needs to do.  Sometimes we just need to motivate ourselves.  When we fall we just need to tell ourselves to get up.

"The answer is out there, Neo.  It's looking for you.  And it will find you.  If you want it to."
Another gem from Trinity.  This is from the scene where she meets Neo at that weird club where I'm sure people getting whipped for pleasure.  Neo wants to know what the Matrix is and this is Trinity's response.  It makes sense for all our major questions.  Sometimes the best way to find the answer, rather than to go out and search for it, it's best to let the answer come to you.  If you're open to it the answer is going to reach.

"You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he's expecting to wake up."
Morpheus hooks us up with this gem.  Damn.  Just marinate on that for a second.  A little bit longer.  Sometimes you look at a situation, life, work and you just accept it.  Not because you're a sheep like everyone else but because you can sense the truth.  You can see the puppet strings but you're still a puppet.  Likewise, Neo senses there is something off with his world, but it's not until Morpheus frees his mind that Neo can cut the strings.

"I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my own life."
Morpheus asks Neo the simple question.  "Do you believe in fate?"  Neo answers, "No."  This was his reason.  Everybody has their own answer to this question.  Personally I'm on the fence but I might lean towards no.  But whether you believe in fate or not his answer can still resonate with you.  The idea that I am not in control of my life and that I can't dictate one way or another how my life ends up is not one I can get on board with.

"Don't think you are.  Know you are."
Ain't this some real shit.  Morpheus should have been a life coach or at the very least a CYO basketball coach.  Attitude is one of the biggest obstacles in our way.  Sometimes the way we think gets in the way of our success.  And that's the key word: think.  If I think I'm the greatest blogger of this generation then at most it's just a thought.  It's an opinion that may or may not be right.  (It's right.)  There's room for doubt.  When you change the terminology to "know" it's a whole different story.  Because I know how good I am I can deliver A1 quality work to your screen every time I write.  I'm not limited because I know my strengths.

"Come on!  Stop trying to hit me and hit me!"
Morpheus with another gem.  Damn, this guy is like a walking Poor Richard's Almanac.  Again, this really has to do with how our attitude can alter our success.  You ever notice the difference between trying to accomplish a goal and actually accomplishing it?  The difference is you're actually doing it.  Sounds simple, execution is a little harder.  But when you get your head out of your ass and get to changing your thought process, the world just looks different.  So don't try to get that promotion, young grasshopper, go get that shit.

"I can only show you the door.  You're the one who has to walk through it."
Surprise, surprise.  You already know Morpheus blessed us with this one.  We've all had that person (or sometimes people) in our lives that has served as a guide.  That taught us how to be men and women in society.  A person that we could rely on constantly to be a rock and a compass.  But that person can't live our lives for us.  I had a couple mentors in my 21 (great) years of life but my dad is the most notable.  But I know as much as I can ask him for advice and wisdom (which surprisingly surpasses El Guapo's) I still have to make my own decisions and go through with them.  I still have to experience the triumphs and consequences to my actions.

"Why, oh why, didn't I take the blue pill?"
Taking a break from Morpheus, this line comes to use from the traitor Cipher.  Not necessarily advice but it is accurate of our thought process.  Have you ever made a decision in your life and as you were following though you thought about how much easier it would have been if you chose the other plan?  Sometimes the things we want or need are a lot tougher to get to.  The good things in life don't come easy.  But the sacrifice is worth it in the end.  We can still throw ourselves a 2 minute pity party but after that we have to get back on our grind or we'll end up like Cipher who gets killed after betraying the party.  (Spoilers!)

"No one can tell you you're in love.  You just know it."
I feel it.  This one comes from the Oracle herself.  Neo is questioning whether or not he's the One and the Oracle compares it to being in love.  Anyone who is in love or has ever been in love can get on bored with this.  I know I can.  Nobody told me I was in love with my girl.  I just knew.  I couldn't explain the feeling to someone but I know it because I feel it.  (Well, I've never been in love Guaps!)  Well this quote is obviously not for you!  Skip ahead to the next one.

"There's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path."
Last quote comes from non other than Morpheus... Again.  I can't even begin to explain how real this is.  As people we are aware of the decisions and the paths we have to take.  Sometimes we are faced with a moral dilemma and it's easier to make the immoral decision but we know the right thing to do is the tough decision.  It's a lot different to know the right thing to to do than to actually do it.  It doesn't just have to do with moral decisions.  This also applies to the paths our lives lead.  Some people have goals but don't make plans for them.  They don't take the actions necessary to get there.  These people know what needs to be done to accomplish their goals but that's it.  They are not walking the path.

So there you have it!  Some wisdom coming from me via The Matrix.  Remember, you can find wisdom anywhere, even movies.  How did you guys like it?  If this is successful I might do the same thing with another movie.  If not I'll just come back with some of my classic shit.  As you can probably tell by the title or by the several hints I dropped I just recently turned 21.  (Happy Birthday Guapo!)  It's too late for that asshole.  But I'll consider you reading this a birthday present.  This birthday is the biggest one I had in a while in the sense of the impact it has on me.  It took a while to sink in but when it did it hit me like a brick hits baby cows.  I'm twenty-fucking-one years old.  There's no place I can't go.  (Except private property.)  I had a great birthday weekend.  Had some of my boys come from the Bay, Garrett and DK.  Also had my boys out here in LA, Hassell and Justice.  And most importantly I had my girlfriend Lily with me.  I've always had the mindset that it didn't matter what I did on my birthday as long as I spent it with the people I love.

 Now that I'm an older Guapo you can expect even wiser and more profound shit from this blog.  So keep on the lookout for new material coming at you.  As usual you can hit me up at the comments section to let me know what you like and/or don't like.  I might actually listen.  Hit me up on Twitter @ELGUAPO3 and Instagram @CAPTAINCRUNCHTIME.  I'm on Tumblr at sirelguapo.tumblr.com.  You can even hit up on LinkedIn!  Don't drink and drive, wear condoms, and most importantly stay Guapo out there!