Thursday, June 6, 2013

1 Year Anniversary

Hello folks!  This is El Guapo again with another edition of Infinite Wisdom.  Today is a very special day.  One year ago on this day I wrote the very first post of Infinite Wisdom from El Guapo’s Brain.  I can honestly say I didn't expect to keep writing this one year later.  (I didn't expect to be writing one month later.)  Has anything really changed in one year?  Yes and no.  I’m still the same Guaps: smart, charismatic, sexy.  I returned to my old summer job at Bath Fitter.  But maybe I’m a little bit more mature.  (Not really.)  I got to go back to college and you can argue that my writing is better.  I do.  (I might be wrong.)  I’m just glad that you guys have stuck around for a year and allowed me to write these prophetic words for your eyes to read.

Here is a brief story to celebrate this special occasion.  This is the story of how I got a free gym membership by complimenting a girl's ass.  One year ago I was working at Bath Fitter.  I had the same position I have today but with less pay.  I basically stand by my company's display and talk to people about the product.  That part isn't really important.  I was at an event out in Walnut Creek with one of my co-workers and we were just standing around.  There was this gym from Walnut Creek with a display.  They were signing people up for gym memberships at the event.  This will be relevant in a little bit.  So I notice my co-worker staring out at something.  I look to see what is captivating her and then I see it.  THE MOST AMAZING ASS I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!  I'm not fucking around here.  I have never seen a better ass than the aforementioned ass.  And she's white!  (What?!?)  And she was wearing yoga pants.  YOGA PANTS!  Imagine the best ass you could possibly think of.  That ass would be cute compared to this ass.  And just know I don't go randomly awarding "Best Ass" awards to every girl I see.  


So naturally I'm staring at this lady's donk for a while.  Then after a few minutes of drooling my co-worker breaks the silence and says, "You seeing what I'm seeing?"  I say, "Yeah.  God's gift to mankind."  She starts talking about how jealous she is and I talk about how I've never seen anything like that.  At some point my co-working tells me to ask her how she gets her butt so perfect.  If you know me, you know I have absolutely no shame so I agree.  So I walk up and on my way to this lady with the perfect glutes I'm going through my mind on how I can ask this girl about her ass without getting slapped.  "I gotta be smooth with it" I think to myself.  I finally reach the lady and my mind goes blank.  I gotta say something, anything to not make this awkward so I open my mouth and what comes out is, "That is the best ass I've ever seen."  I'm expecting this lady to get mad but instead she smiles and takes the compliment.  We get to talking about her rear and what she does to maintain it.  (Ladies, she knows what she's doing.)  During this convo I'm kind of leaning over every once in a while to get another glimpse.  After a while she tells about the gym she works for and how they have a special for 20 bucks or something for the month.  But since I'm such a nice guy I get a month for free!  I never actually ended up using my month trail since I'm never in Walnut Creek.  The moral of the story: be like me.

I apologize this post is so short.  I just wanted to give you guys a brief post in celebration of my blog’s one year anniversary.  I’m in New York City this week on vacation.  This city is hella dope.  There’s all these tall buildings and shit.  I might not want to go back home.  I may or may not write my next blog post on my vacation.  (I probably won’t.)  I hope you guys enjoy your summer.  Stay tuned for my next blog post.  Follow me on Twitter @ElGUAPO3 and my Instagram name is CAPTAINCRUNCHTIME.  Stay Guapo out there!

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