Sunday, March 30, 2014

Ranking the How I Met Your Mother Seasons (Series Finale Version)

Oh hey guys!  Didn't see you there!  I've just been sitting here and reminiscing over the last 21 years.  (We get it!  You're 21!)  For the new kids in school, let me introduce myself.  My name is El Guapo and I'm the sole proprietor of this blog.  Every once in a (long) while when I'm in the mood I'll sit down in front of my laptop and write some magnificent shit for your eye holes to admire.  Speaking of reminiscing, I know I'm not the only one busting out the ice cream bucket for the finale of How I Met Your Mother.  It's been a long ride but this show has finally come to an end.  So instead of crying about it and decided to write about it to celebrate its long run on TV.  Yes, this post is just an updated version of a previous post.  (Not the first time he's done something like this.)  But I had to choose between binge watching the seasons 1 through 9 or coming up with an entirely new concept to write about this show before the finale on Monday.  One of the options required significantly less work than the other.  So let's suit up and count this mother down.

For those who don't know, How I Met Your Mother is basically an old Ted telling his kids the story of how he met his wife and their mother.  The show's gone on for 9 seasons now and if I had to give the show a review on the spot I'd give it a solid "Guapo".  It's a touching story of Ted Mosby's quest for true love and aren't we all looking for that special gal to call our baby mama?  My ideal girl has wide enough birthing hips to give birth to my 8 pound squid baby.  (Everyone knows Guapo babies come out the womb with tentacles.)  So let's get started with this ranking! 

9. Season 6 (Best Episode- Blitzgiving)
This season was by no means a bad one, it was just the least good out of the rest of the seasons.  Marshall's dad's death made me super sad.  Can anyone really tell me they were a fan of Zoey and keep a straight face?  (I can't.)  She was kinda hot though, and Katy Perry was too.  Plus who doesn't love the Captain.  He is the epitome of the man I want to grow to be.  The Blitz was also good for laughs.  (We all have that one friend who ends up being the Blitz.)

8. Season 7 (Best Episode- Trilogy Time)
I loved Quinn.  If Barney had been marrying Quinn instead of Robin I honestly wouldn't be that mad.  I'm just glad he didn't end up with Nora.  The season finale was great.  (Waitforit is still the coolest middle name of all time!)  I'm just hung up on the fact that Ted is still hung up on Robin.  I mean Jesus, buddy.  Her vagina broke!  She can't push a squid baby through that thing.

7. Season 8 (Best Episode- P.S. I Love You)
The return of a darker Robin Sparkles! And the Captain is back!  I could do without Victoria but at least Robin and Barney are finally together and it looks like it'll be forever!  Plus at long last we finally meet the mother.  I don't know about you guys but I was getting restless.  After years of being teased I was ready for this.  Plus that bat shit crazy girl Jeanette was good for a few laughs.  And who doesn't love Patrice?

6. Season 2 (Best Episode- Slap Bet)
So many great moments in this season.  There's the girl with the crazy eyes, we met Barney's gay, black brother and Lily and Marshall got married.  And am I the only one who fantasizes their bachelor party being like Marshall's?  (Probably.)  This is really where I think the show elevated itself into a great show.  Only reason I put this so low on the list is because I'm not a fan of that Ted/Robin combo.

5. Season 9 (Best Episode- The End of the Aisle)
This season is the most creative of the series in terms of its structure.  A whole season fit into just a matter of days.  It's no 24 Hours but hey, they did a hell of a job with it.  They gave us glimpses of the future while also tying up loose ends.  It certainly didn't lack in comedic or dramatic moments.  And I think we were all relieved when Ted finally got over Robin.  The End of the Aisle is my favorite episode for now, pending the premiere of the finale.  I'm sure people were cheering when Robin and Barney got married.  This season has some wiggle room to move up or down this list depending on how the finale goes.


4. Season 1 (Best Episode- The Pineapple Incident)
This is really before the show hit its comedic stride but I couldn't deny it had some great moments.  This is the season where we met poor innocent little Ted.  Marshall wasn't fat yet.  Game Night is still one of my favorite episodes and would be my favorite of this season if it weren't for the genius that is The Pineapple Incident.  And up until the season 8 finale I was pushing for the mother to be Mary the Paralegal.

3. Season 5 (Best Episode- Girls vs Suits)
This is actually the very first season I watched in full.  I saw this season and fell in love with the show and I had to go back and watch every single season.  I loved seeing Robin and Barney together, even if it was only for a few episodes.  Plus the Playbook was awesome.  I actually bought a copy of it.  Can't tell if it works or not though. (It really doesn't, but who cares.)  Slapsgiving came back and a grand musical number about suits sung by Barney?  Yes, please.  There were so many good episodes in this season like the inspirational The Perfect Week and Say Cheese.  It was really just a good all round season.


2. Season 3 (Best Episode- Slapsgiving)
How about instead of me listing the episodes I liked I just list the episodes I didn't like... Hold on...Couldn't find any.  This is the season when they introduced the Bro Code.  (Another book I ended up purchasing at the extinct Borders.)  Barney and Robin hooked up for the first time and Ted got a tramp stamp!  Plus who can say no to Barney's green St. Patty's Day Suit?

1. Season 4 (Best Episode- The Naked Man)
This is season when How I Met Your Mother hit its prime.  I'm not saying the show got progressively worse but it was at its best during season 4.  Barney was chasing Robin and Ted got engaged, then left at the alter.  (Sad but entertaining.)  The Naked Man is still a move I want to do one day.  ( Who wouldn't.)  And I loved Barney's video resume.  To top it all off Barney had sex with his 200th woman.  That's a lot.

Alright guys.  One last episode for the series and I'm looking forward to it.  I'm glad to see how everything is shaping together.  I want to give a thank you to the cast and creators of the show for putting this adventure together and making us fall in love with the characters.  So farewell to Ted, Barney, Marshall, Lilly and Robin.  (Don't forget Ranjit!)  As usual you can follow me on Twitter @ELGUAPO3 and Instagram @CAPTAINCRUNCHTIME.  It's been a legendary show and I hope this blog post did i justice.  Stay Guapo out there!

1 comment:

  1. Oh, the rethinking you must have done once the finale premiered...